Entry Ten.
Saturday 2002.09.28 2:10 PM CST.
A variety of statements, rants, etc.

Hi everyone...

I'm stuck at home again today, "on-call" this week for my "day job" yet again.  This year, I've gotten to spend about one out of every four weeks staying at home worrying about the pager going off for some "emergency" situation, which means that roughly one full season of the year will have been "sacrificed to the machine" by the year's end.  Obviously, happiness abounds regarding that, because I looooooooove just sitting around chained down to my on-call duties for my oh-so-supportive day job.  Oh yeah.

Anyway, I've been fairly pensive (read:  depressed) as of late, and even though I have been enthusiastic about a lot of things in my life, I feel like I need to put a few not-so-promising things "out there" and just vent a bit.  So, you can either read them all by your own volition (I'm not forcing you), or you can skip this entry and proceed to a "happier" journal entry, or for that matter, a happier site altogether.

COOL SURFER MAIL!
First, a couple of actual good things.  I actually got an e-mail from a lady online who had stumbled in here, apparently via a search engine, and liked my site.  She even made a point to use the word "swank" in her e-mail, so bonus points go out to her.  I won't name her, out of respect for her privacy, but just the fact that she thought the site and these Journal entries (yep, she specifically noted the journal entries) were pretty cool is enough to give her a public thanking...  So, "Thanks" for the kind words!

NEWER THAN NEW JAMES ETHER NEWS!
The other good thing is that I finally got my remix CDs into the hands of James Ether (see tons of other Journal entries) and he has reviewed them and seems quite pleased.  Hopefully, my remixes will appear on a forthcoming CD release by James in the near future, but I have no definite information at this time.

A RANT ABOUT SPINELESSNESS.
And now, for the not-so-great stuff.  I have a DJ gig this forthcoming weekend with my company, EKG.  It's for a wedding reception, which is kind of exciting since I haven't done one of those in a little while.  In fact, I've even ordered a pretty major audio equipment upgrade which should arrive this week.  However, I called a usually-faithful and very helpful friend to help me out with it (for a very decent chunk of pay, might I add)... and he said he couldn't do it.

Why couldn't he help me out?  Was it something understandable like a "day job" work-related problem?  Health issues?  Previous engagement with family?  Nope.  He said that his girlfriend "probably wouldn't appreciate" him being out so late.  Now, this is a guy who has helped me with more gigs than anyone else, and he's been with the EKG group since back in 1991.  We've been friends for about fifteen years, and we've done favours for each other and helped each other out for ages.  He's been dating his current girlfriend for under a year.  It's always nice to hear that my friends have such well-defined priorities.  Frankly, I have priorities too, and when that particular friend asks me for another favour...  We'll see what happens.

It's almost as good as the situation with my old friend Chris... the one who doesn't talk with me anymore, probably because his girlfriend yanks his leash too hard every time he reaches for the phone.  That's a sick situation I won't go into at this point... but there is even an obscure Badger song that was specifically written about Chris's sad predicament, being crushed under the thumb of an overbearing hag of a "girlfriend."  It was shortly after that song that he stopped communicating with me, but it wasn't that much of a change from his recent behaviour anyway.  (No, that track won't be put on any of my albums.  Sorry.)

I'm not some testosterone-fueled, knuckle-dragging neanderthal who doesn't think women should have a say in a relationship...  I have a tremendous amount of respect for women.  However, some women can be overwhelmingly controlling, and there has to be some point at which a man has to grow a spine and say, "I have friends and other priorities that need to be balanced into my life instead of devoting all of my time to entertaining you."

Let me reiterate the three most important words there:  GROW A SPINE!

I'm sure someone's going to read the above and think, "Wow, from a professionalism standpoint, this has to be one of the most unprofessional journal entries any self-respecting DJ has ever put on the Web."  If you're thinking this, then buckle up, honey...  I'm just getting started.  And, yes, there's more EKG ranting down below.

ALL IS FAIR IN LOVE, WAR, AND NEUROSIS.
Speaking of girlfriends...  You know, nothing makes my life more worthwhile than women who play head games.  Yes, kids, that was Badger's bitter, sarcastic flair talkin' right there...  It's a well-known fact that I'm not into head games, but I apparently am a magnet for women who like to play 'em.  I must have "LOOKING FOR PSYCHOS" tattooed on my forehead, because this year, I've been confronted with a series of dates and online acquaintances which have ranged from nice (yep, some of them have been decent women) to "Emotionally Bearbaiting Tramp-O-Rama."  Since my last girlfriend dumped me on the day before Thanksgiving 2001 (yes, Clockwork Wizards fans, that would be "Kasia:  Muse of the Madman"), I have been privy to a virtual parade of women ranging from "somewhat cool" to "Prozac Overdose Poster Child" to "Superficial, Snot-Nosed Demon from hell."

Again, I don't like head games.  At all.  However, I've had to go through so many head games with women, since way back in my high-school days, that I'm like a "veteran" of them now.  Sadly, with experience comes a slowly-developed talent, and if someone wants to try a round head games with me... well, she can try, but she won't win, and odds are she'll end up regretting that she ever started trying to get her fingers into my brain in the first place.  :)

For the time being, let's just say that yer ol' buddy Badger's love life is way deep down in the crapper right now.  Perhaps if I could just find an totalitarian wench like my friends above, with which I could spend a nice, sheltered, friendless life without having to worry about crazy things like the notion of "independent thought," then maybe my existence on this planet could finally be complete.

Then again, my existence might be complete if I put a railroad spike through my foot and dance around in circles until I collapse from the combination of pain and blood loss.  At least I wouldn't have to spend as much money on the railroad spike.

THE FINAL CHAPTERS OF EKG.
And now for something I really don't like to talk about much, but I'm in the mood today, since I'm just spewing bile about everything.  Tomorrow, EKG Pro Mobile Music, the mobile DJ company that I founded and have managed since I was 17, will turn thirteen years old.  That's right, kids...  I've been running my own DJ show for thirteen years.  I've been working in the DJ industry (including my early years with Dave French and Mirage Productions...  words can't express how much I miss that guy) for about fourteen and a half years, since February of 1988.  This means that mathematically, I will soon reach a point in my life in which I will have been involved somehow in professional DJing and the music industry for half my life.

So, it hurts a lot to come out and say that EKG is not doing as well as it used to.  In my early years, it was a fun way to spend a weekend, especially since I didn't have any other "real" jobs to worry about.  (By the way...  If anyone ever tells you that DJing for parties isn't a real job, kick them in the teeth.  HARD.)  In the early years, I had what I considered to be the absolute best DJ experience in the northeast Oklahoma area.

Times change.  EKG still rocks the house; don't get me wrong.  I love EKG and I always will.  However:

• My day job overwhelms my time to the point that free weekends have become VERY precious commodities.

• My posse of potential helpers is wearing thin (see spinelessness, above).

• The status quo's mainstream musical tastes are continuing to migrate from "good dance music" to "total gutter trash," plenty of thanks to Tulsa radio, which is continuing its grand tradition of rectal suckage.

• The expenses for DJing are kicking my butt in a severe fashion, since I actually pay to purchase music to build up my music library instead of illegally stealing it from the Web like some other mobile DJs choose to.
• The classic EKG van, which I affectionately dubbed "The Death Tank," is wearing down.
• The equipment we use, which is still AWESOME for DJ shows, is getting older too.  (That's why I just upgraded our CD systems.)
• Worst of all, I am starting to feel the ravages of time as well, and I don't see much more of a future in trying to play this mobile DJing game for much longer.  I haven't been taking nearly as many gigs as I used to, and I really do feel like it's not worth the hassle, expense, and heartache much longer.

It is possible that EKG will turn around.  However, while I will always strive to do my best with every DJ performance, I don't see it as a possibility.  I will always consider myself a DJ (after all, check out what I said three Journal entries back), and I will not retire from the music business completely, as I am still intending to do remixes and original musical works for years to come.  As far as live DJ performances, if I do any in the future, after a certain point, they will invariably NOT be EKG performances...  They'll just be DJ Badger shows, which I assure you will still rock like a magikist.

I just don't know how long EKG will survive in its present.  It's not a wounded, dying animal.  It's just something that, in due time, must undergo a massive change.  I hate to say this, but it just doesn't feel "cool" anymore.  At one point, I hoped that we would be able to have a massive "15th Anniversary of EKG" celebration...  but that doesn't seem like it'll happen.  I'm just not sure.

There will never be another 1989, 1990, or 1991.  There will never be another Mohawk Music or KTOW.  There will never be another DJ Dave French, another Kevin (my best friend, who helped me with the earliest EKG gigs as well as most of them in the first year or two), or another Billy (my other best friend and another early EKG performer).  And, once it is completely gone, there will never be another EKG.

I have much more to say about this subject, but I think I've said enough for now.  I'm kind of emotionally drained at this point.  If you've actually read all of the above, then I thank you.

- Badger.