One Hundred Ninety-Eight.
Sunday, 2016.03.20, 10:05 AM CST.
have survived twenty-five years since March 20th, 1991.
Current Mood: Alive.
Current Scent: The Dreamer by Versace.
years ago today, I was nineteen years old and a much different person.
I was insecure, emotionally frail, and significantly lacking in confidence.
It was the spring of my first year of college, and I was an awkward
little geek attending the University of Tulsa. KTOW Progressive
FM Radio had just gone off the air a couple of months before, and my
college courses were not going well.
20th, 1991 was a Wednesday. I was sitting on a quaint front porch,
in a rural Oklahoma town, next to a young lady whom I'd had every intention
of someday marrying. This was someone I trusted deeply and for
whom I cared greatly.
explained to me that while she and her family were living out of state,
she had lost her virginity to some other guy, and she was dumping me
for someone even different than that guy. As I sat there, openly
weeping as my future fell apart in my hands, I felt myself break inside.
I had been seriously struggling with college, and having her away was
hurtful, but I knew that she was moving back someday and that had given
me the strength to keep going.
shouldn't give her too much credit, but in all honesty, I was a different
person after that day. I was less trusting of everyone, and wiser...
and darker. A lot darker.
good news is... I survived. My life didn't stop, and I just
I picked myself up, dusted myself off, and moved on to have a pretty
successful life. Today, I have made it twenty-five years past
that day. For not going back to my dorm room, locking the door,
and simply putting an end to it all then and there, I'm pretty damned
proud of myself.
for her... we haven't talked since that year, and I still think she
can go straight to hell.