Entry Two Hundred Thirty-Six.
Saturday, 2020.11.07, 5:42 PM central time.
How to get me to stop DJing online.
Current Mood:  Optimistic.
Current Scent:  Nuit de Megeve by Eight and Bob.

This will be interesting.

Here's how to get me to stop DJing online.

Now, the first thing you might ask yourself - and the first thing that I want to address - is "Well, Badger, why would someone reading this, obviously a fan, want to stop you from DJing online?"

• Not everyone reading this is a fan... or a friend.  There are people out there who would love to watch me fail, and people out there who have gone to pretty elaborate lengths in the past to hurt me.  That sounds paranoid, but it's true.  I'm not talking about a "vast conspiracy" or anything (I'm not that important!), but there are a few individuals who have gotten their jollies from making my life a little more miserable, and I'm sure they check up on me now and then.
  
  To those people, I'd like to say, "Fuck you.  I'm doing well.  Thanks for checking."  *wink*

• I'm not writing this as an instructional thing.  I'm writing it so that if I ever stop doing it... you'll know what probably happened.

So... If you've been following along, you know that I've all but given up in-person performances, especially during the COVID-19 pandemic.  But, I've started to perform a lot more online.  On average, more than once per week.  I perform for Radio SRO/The Groovy Train on almost all Saturdays, and I currently do "Hump Day Sessions" on Wednesdays two or (usually) three times per month.

Yes, when I perform, I ask for donations.  These aren't because I'm destitute or anything like that; I'm doing very well with my "day job," and things, for the most part, are really okay financially.  I ask for donations/tips/whatever you want to call them because, at the end of the day, standing up for five or six hours straight playing tunes from physical media is still a considerable amount of work, especially when you consider the planning that goes into it, the amount of work done on the promo graphics, etc.

And yes, people do donate - some of them very generously - and I am extremely, extremely grateful.

The donations not only help to pay for my time and effort, but they also help to take care of some of the overhead of doing shows like mine.  "What overhead?" you may wonder.  Well, I don't have to buy much "new" music, but sometimes, buying classic alternative tracks - especially the really obscure ones - can be pricy.  I recently paid around $25 to order the vinyl 12" of the Lords of the New Church's "Dance with Me," and just this week, I paid almost another $25 for remixes of "The Gun" by DAF, because I like to get requests from my listeners, and I want to return value to them with my performances.  In addition, my fog machine (for the light show that runs during "Groovy Train" and "Hump Day Sessions") recently went kaput - that'll be about another $110 or so if I want to replace it, or around $160 if I care to upgrade.  In the meantime, I've got an older, cheaper fogger that's working fine, but I had to purchase more fog fluid for it.  Boom - another $24, plus another $7 for fog scent (which, granted, is optional, but I like it), so $31 there.  It all adds up.

I'm not whining about these expenses... on the contrary, I am lucky to have the reason to pay them!  Without listeners/viewers, it wouldn't make any sense, and I am very thankful to those who tune in, watch, listen, and interact.

But now, we're getting to the point.

I'm going to be more honest with you than a lot of DJs probably would be.  Do you know why I go online and do DJ performances?

Is it for the money?  Nope.  Money is important, and I appreciate it.

Is it because I enjoy it?  To an extent, I truly do.  But that's not the main reason.

The main reason, to be very open and honest, is:  I am an attention whore.

Yes, that's a tacky way of putting it.  But, alas, when it comes down to it, it's true.  I'm a nice guy (at least, to most people).  However, I thrive on the fact that people are tuning in and interacting.  When the chat is flowing, and people are discussing what's playing, or they're chatting about their memories of the classic clubbing days of SRO or the classic radio days of KTOW Progressive Radio, that is the payoff to my emotional investment.  That is what really makes it all worth it.

If you tune in, and you enjoy it, and you are chatting and interacting, that is the main thing that I'm wanting.  I don't even need you to be chatting about me, or what I'm doing, or what I'm playing (even though that's nice).  I just like the fact that people are having discussions while I'm performing, because that means that they're engaged.  That means that I'm bringing them together.  That shows me that they're actually there and listening.

I've played music to completely empty rooms at venues before, and it was depressing as hell.  I don't want to do it online as well.

When I first started DJing in 1989, I was an insecure seventeen-year-old who wanted a way to really differentiate myself - especially, to be honest, to women.  I wasn't athletic, and I didn't feel like I was especially charming in any particular way... I was just weird and geeky and I wanted to feel special and have some way to be "different" and maybe even (gasp!) attractive.

These days, I'm a much more secure forty-eight-year-old.  I've been successful in life in many ways, and as one of my favorite phrases goes... "Success is the best revenge."  However, as I have gotten older, and especially as I have faced a pandemic along with the rest of the world, my friendships have often fallen away.  I've grown away from people, and they've grown away from me.  I accept this.  But, I still want to feel valuable, and I still want to feel special.

Providing entertainment to you, and having people tune in and really engage... that's something that really makes me feel valuable and special.

So, if you want me to stop DJing online, the solution is simple:

• Don't tune in.
  
• If you do tune in, don't chat.
  
• If you do chat, do it for a short time and then just suddenly stop.
  
• Whatever you do... don't spread the word.  If more people join in and enjoy the broadcasts, it will only make me want to continue.

I know, I know... people have lives.  Sometimes regular listeners will have weeks during which they can't make it.  And, for the love of all things holy, I shouldn't expect most people to stay up as late as I will.  I take all of this into account, and I understand and respect all of that.

That being said... if there aren't enough people tuning in each week, and if there's not enough interaction to keep me from getting bored, then it won't be worth it to me anymore, and I will have to either make the broadcasts less frequent, or possibly, discontinue them altogether.

I'm not a prima donna... I'm just a kind-of-sad, more-than-kind-of-weird, very-likely-autistic, lonely dude who still wants to entertain people.

Thanks... more soon.

Badger

[The badgerkelley.com site is still forthcoming.  The views and opinions expressed in my posts are mine and mine alone.  No posts on this site, nor any of my posts on social media, should be considered representative of any company for which I work, nor any company for which I've ever worked, nor any company that I own or have owned.]