Saturday 2002.09.28 2:10 PM CST.
variety of statements, rants, etc.
stuck at home again today, "on-call" this week for my "day
job" yet again. This year, I've gotten to spend about one
out of every four weeks staying at home worrying about the pager going
off for some "emergency" situation, which means that roughly
one full season of the year will have been "sacrificed to the machine"
by the year's end. Obviously, happiness abounds regarding that,
because I looooooooove just sitting around chained down to my on-call
duties for my oh-so-supportive day job. Oh yeah.
I've been fairly pensive (read: depressed) as of late, and even
though I have been enthusiastic about a lot of things in my life, I
feel like I need to put a few not-so-promising things "out there"
and just vent a bit. So, you can either read them all by your
own volition (I'm not forcing you), or you can skip this entry and proceed
to a "happier" journal entry, or for that matter, a happier
First, a couple of actual good things. I actually got an e-mail
from a lady online who had stumbled in here, apparently via a search
engine, and liked my site. She even made a point to use the word
"swank" in her e-mail, so bonus points go out to her.
I won't name her, out of respect for her privacy, but just the fact
that she thought the site and these Journal entries (yep, she specifically
noted the journal entries) were pretty cool is enough to give her a
public thanking... So, "Thanks" for the kind words!
THAN NEW JAMES ETHER NEWS!
other good thing is that I finally got my remix CDs into the hands of
James Ether (see tons of other Journal entries) and he has reviewed
them and seems quite pleased. Hopefully, my remixes will appear
on a forthcoming CD release by James in the near future, but I have
no definite information at this time.
RANT ABOUT SPINELESSNESS.
And now, for the not-so-great stuff. I have a DJ gig this forthcoming
weekend with my company, EKG. It's for a wedding reception, which
is kind of exciting since I haven't done one of those in a little while.
In fact, I've even ordered a pretty major audio equipment upgrade which
should arrive this week. However, I called a usually-faithful
and very helpful friend to help me out with it (for a very decent chunk
of pay, might I add)... and he said he couldn't do it.
couldn't he help me out? Was it something understandable like
a "day job" work-related problem? Health issues?
Previous engagement with family? Nope. He said that his
girlfriend "probably wouldn't appreciate" him being
out so late. Now, this is a guy who has helped me with more gigs
than anyone else, and he's been with the EKG group since back in 1991.
We've been friends for about fifteen years, and we've done favours for
each other and helped each other out for ages. He's been dating
his current girlfriend for under a year. It's always nice to hear
that my friends have such well-defined priorities. Frankly, I
have priorities too, and when that particular friend asks me for another
favour... We'll see what happens.
almost as good as the situation with my old friend Chris... the one
who doesn't talk with me anymore, probably because his girlfriend yanks
his leash too hard every time he reaches for the phone. That's
a sick situation I won't go into at this point... but there is even
an obscure Badger song that was specifically written about Chris's
sad predicament, being crushed under the thumb of an overbearing hag
of a "girlfriend." It was shortly after that song that
he stopped communicating with me, but it wasn't that much of a change
from his recent behaviour anyway. (No, that track won't be put
on any of my albums. Sorry.)
not some testosterone-fueled, knuckle-dragging neanderthal who doesn't
think women should have a say in a relationship... I have a tremendous
amount of respect for women. However, some women can be overwhelmingly
controlling, and there has to be some point at which a man has to grow
a spine and say, "I have friends and other priorities that
need to be balanced into my life instead of devoting all of my time
to entertaining you."
me reiterate the three most important words there: GROW
sure someone's going to read the above and think, "Wow, from a
professionalism standpoint, this has to be one of the most unprofessional
journal entries any self-respecting DJ has ever put on the Web."
If you're thinking this, then buckle up, honey... I'm just getting
started. And, yes, there's more EKG ranting down below.
IS FAIR IN LOVE, WAR, AND NEUROSIS.
Speaking of girlfriends... You know, nothing makes my life more
worthwhile than women who play head games. Yes, kids, that was
Badger's bitter, sarcastic flair talkin' right there... It's a
well-known fact that I'm not into head games, but I apparently am a
magnet for women who like to play 'em. I must have "LOOKING
FOR PSYCHOS" tattooed on my forehead, because this year, I've been
confronted with a series of dates and online acquaintances which have
ranged from nice (yep, some of them have been decent women) to "Emotionally
Bearbaiting Tramp-O-Rama." Since my last girlfriend dumped
me on the day before Thanksgiving 2001 (yes, Clockwork Wizards fans,
that would be "Kasia: Muse of the Madman"), I have been
privy to a virtual parade of women ranging from "somewhat cool"
to "Prozac Overdose Poster Child" to "Superficial, Snot-Nosed
Demon from hell."
I don't like head games. At all. However, I've had to go
through so many head games with women, since way back in my high-school
days, that I'm like a "veteran" of them now. Sadly,
with experience comes a slowly-developed talent, and if someone wants
to try a round head games with me... well, she can try, but she won't
win, and odds are she'll end up regretting that she ever started trying
to get her fingers into my brain in the first place. :)
the time being, let's just say that yer ol' buddy Badger's love life
is way deep down in the crapper right now. Perhaps if I could
just find an totalitarian wench like my friends above, with which I
could spend a nice, sheltered, friendless life without having to worry
about crazy things like the notion of "independent thought,"
then maybe my existence on this planet could finally be complete.
again, my existence might be complete if I put a railroad spike through
my foot and dance around in circles until I collapse from the combination
of pain and blood loss. At least I wouldn't have to spend as much
money on the railroad spike.
FINAL CHAPTERS OF EKG.
And now for something I really don't like to talk about much, but I'm
in the mood today, since I'm just spewing bile about everything.
Tomorrow, EKG Pro Mobile Music, the mobile DJ company that I founded
and have managed since I was 17, will turn thirteen years old.
That's right, kids... I've been running my own DJ show for thirteen
years. I've been working in the DJ industry (including my early
years with Dave French and Mirage Productions... words can't express
how much I miss that guy) for about fourteen and a half years, since
February of 1988. This means that mathematically, I will soon
reach a point in my life in which I will have been involved somehow
in professional DJing and the music industry for half my life.
it hurts a lot to come out and say that EKG is not doing as well as
it used to. In my early years, it was a fun way to spend a weekend,
especially since I didn't have any other "real" jobs to worry
about. (By the way... If anyone ever tells you that DJing
for parties isn't a real job, kick them in the teeth. HARD.)
In the early years, I had what I considered to be the absolute best
DJ experience in the northeast Oklahoma area.
Times change. EKG still rocks the house; don't get me wrong.
I love EKG and I always will. However:
day job overwhelms my time to the point that free weekends have
become VERY precious commodities.
posse of potential helpers is wearing thin (see spinelessness,
status quo's mainstream musical tastes are continuing to migrate
from "good dance music" to "total gutter trash,"
plenty of thanks to Tulsa radio, which is continuing its grand tradition
of rectal suckage.
expenses for DJing are kicking my butt in a severe fashion, since
I actually pay to purchase music to build up my music library
instead of illegally stealing it from the Web like some other mobile
DJs choose to.
classic EKG van, which I affectionately dubbed "The Death Tank,"
is wearing down.
equipment we use, which is still AWESOME for DJ shows, is getting
older too. (That's why I just upgraded our CD systems.)
of all, I am starting to feel the ravages of time as well,
and I don't see much more of a future in trying to play this mobile
DJing game for much longer. I haven't been taking nearly as
many gigs as I used to, and I really do feel like it's not worth the
hassle, expense, and heartache much longer.
is possible that EKG will turn around. However, while I will always
strive to do my best with every DJ performance, I don't see it as a
possibility. I will always consider myself a DJ (after all, check
out what I said three Journal entries
back), and I will not retire from the music business completely,
as I am still intending to do remixes and original musical works for
years to come. As far as live DJ performances, if I do any in
the future, after a certain point, they will invariably NOT be EKG performances...
They'll just be DJ Badger shows, which I assure you will still rock
like a magikist.
just don't know how long EKG will survive in its present. It's
not a wounded, dying animal. It's just something that, in due
time, must undergo a massive change. I hate to say this, but it
just doesn't feel "cool" anymore. At one point, I hoped
that we would be able to have a massive "15th Anniversary of EKG"
celebration... but that doesn't seem like it'll happen.
I'm just not sure.
will never be another 1989, 1990, or 1991. There will never be
another Mohawk Music or KTOW. There will never be another DJ Dave
French, another Kevin (my best friend, who helped me with the earliest
EKG gigs as well as most of them in the first year or two), or another
Billy (my other best friend and another early EKG performer).
And, once it is completely gone, there will never be another EKG.
have much more to say about this subject, but I think I've said enough
for now. I'm kind of emotionally drained at this point.
If you've actually read all of the above, then I thank you.