DJ Badger:  The News and the Journal


Entry Two Hundred Forty.
Sunday, 2021.10.10, 9:12 PM central time.

I need to provide an update - major, major news.
Current Mood:  A little tired, but not too bad.
Current Scent:  Oud for Greatness by Initio..

 

So... it's been a long time.  I really hoped that I'd have the new site ready by now, but obviously, I don't.

I really hope that you've all been doing well out there.  Well, except for very specific people, and most of them know who they are.  But, if you're taking the time to come here and read my posts, odds are you're one of the people whom I'm not trying to outlive.

 

For those of you reading this in the considerable future, let me set the timeframe:  The initial version of COVID-19 (Coronavirus) has killed off a lot of people, and thanks to the anti-maskers and anti-vaxxers out there (aka the plague rats), the disease has stuck around longer than it ever should have.  I've had the initial two doses of the Pfizer vaxxine.  No, it didn't come with microchips.  Yes, it was researched before being administered to the general public.  The world is now dealing with the Delta Variant of COVID-19, which is also mighty deadly.  There are lots of people who have conspiracy theories about the virus, but then again, there are lots of people who are fully convinced that the earth is flat, and no matter what evidence is presented to them, our planet will always be flat in their minds.  Those people are morons.

I've known people who have had COVID-19.  It's a real thing, and if you get all of the symptoms, it sucks.  The vaccines out there may not 100% prevent people from getting the virus, but they will prevent the symptoms from being as bad... so, a trip to the hospital and lifelong respiratory problems could be reduced to a bit of a fever and flu-like symptoms.  That's worth it to me.

 

Anyway...

Two hundred four days have passed since my last entry here.  A lot can happen in 204 days.  Here are some of the really big updates.

 

I'm getting divorced.
On Saturday, June 5th, Lanna told me that she was "thinking about moving out."  Within a week, she had already moved back into our old house (which we had not yet sold after purchasing a newer house in 2019), purchased some new furniture, and stopped wearing her wedding ring.  We are currently going through a divorce, and hopefully it will be completed by the end of the year.

Some of you out there might be thinking, "Well, gee, Badger, I bet you hate her guts, don't you?"  No.  This is not about one of us being "evil" and the other one being "good."  She made some decisions that I didn't like, and I made some decisions that she didn't like.  Over the course of our almost sixteen years together, it became more and more evident that she and I were very different people.  When she told me that she was thinking of leaving, it didn't surprise me at all.

In fact, I had first brought up the idea of moving out five years ago, and then brought up the idea of getting divorced two years ago.  This was not a shocking new idea for us.  We kept trying to make it work, but it just... didn't.  She finally decided to take the next steps that I could not, and I'm actually grateful and proud of her for doing so.

Lanna's not a bad person, and in my opinion, she's a great mom to our children and really cares for their best interests.  Neither of us have been greedy about the divorce terms, and the custody of our children will be evenly divided.  Our sons, from all appearances and the conversations that we've had about this, seem to be taking all of this extremely well.

I don't anticipate that Lanna and I will be "best friends," but we are moving forward with this in an especially civil fashion.  I hope she knows that if she ever needs anything that I can help her with, I'll do what I can to assist.  She has certainly bailed me out of some extremely bad situations in the past, and I owe her a lot.  Despite our differences, we've had some wonderful memories over the past sixteen years, and I wish her well.

 

I'm a big dude... yet again.
If you've followed me for a while, then you've seen me post about my issues with my weight before.  Over the course of the pandemic, I have ballooned back up to around the heaviest I've ever been - two-hundred twenty-two pounds.  I'm not proud of that, and I realize that the extra weight isn't good for me.  There's been diabetes on both sides of my family, and I know that I've got to knock some of this weight down.  So, I've actively adopted a new regimen and I'm going to try to stick to it.

If any of this sounds familiar or redundant... you're right.  I've tried it before, a number of times.  Losing weight and keeping the weight off is really difficult, but I'm trying.  We'll see how things go.

All that being said... I refuse to let the weight issue shake my confidence.  We only get a certain number of days here on Earth, and I'm not going to sit around getting sad and beating myself up about my weight.  Over the years, I've learned that when it comes to how I feel about my appearance, I've got three major choices:

  • I can dwell on my shortcomings and tell myself that I'm fat, ugly, and unworthy of happiness.
    .
  • I can decide to focus on my strengths, accept myself as I am, and then do nothing to get better.
    .
  • I can decide to focus on my strengths, be actively confident about myself as I am, and then make strides to improve my situation, acknowledging that I have room for improvement and hoping that I can get a little better every day.

 

Hopefully, in the future, I can go into much further detail about my weird thought processes that have reinforced my self-esteem.  I'm not perfect - not by a loooooong shot - and I've got a lot of improvement ahead of me.  But, I can acknowledge that and simultaneously feel good about myself.

 

The initial "run" of Radio SRO has ended... but it hasn't completely stopped.
For a while, Radio SRO and the Groovy Train were being presented every Saturday, and it was a bit overwhelming, with a few other elements causing me to just not enjoy it as much as I did at the outset.  Earlier this year, I shifted things down and started presenting Radio SRO and the Groovy Train on the first, third, and fifth Saturdays of each month.  It still took too much out of me... so a few months back, I announced that I would be ending this regularly-scheduled run of Radio SRO.

The next scheduled episodes of Radio SRO and the Groovy Train are set for Saturday, November 27th, but occasionally I will pop up with impromptu or near-impromptu Radio SRO/Groovy Train performances (such as the Groovy Train performance from last Tuesday).  I recommend following me on Facebook and following me on Mixcloud.  I often announce my performances on the Facebook page, and if you are following me on Mixcloud you should receive notifications whenever I start a live DJ set online.

As always, BIG thanks go out to Tim Barazza and the SROcialites who keep coming back time and time again to watch and listen to me spin tunes online.  You've changed this weird vintage DJ's life, and I appreciate it greatly.

 

I've shied away from social media a bit more than usual.
Even though I mentioned Facebook in the previous section... I don't post there nearly as much as I used to.  A lot of what I see there just depresses me, and I would really rather be focusing on things that make me happier and avenues for my own creativity.

That brings me to this revelation:  There is no shame in being happy.  I used to feel bad about even trying to be happy; long ago, I told myself that I simply was unable to feel that emotion to its fullest.  Part of me would feel guilty about feeling happiness when there was so much suffering in the rest of the world.  One can acknowledge the suffering of others while still experiencing joy, and as long as one is still doing something to help improve what's happening to other people, there is no shame in allowing one's self to feel wonderfully selfish happiness.  I'm still working on that.

 

A quick update on my prostate cancer scare.
I recently had some labs run, and my PSA (Prostate Specific Antigen) levels were back down to normal.  I'm not sure why, as they were still slightly elevated when I last had them checked, but this is great news.

 

"Level 50" is around the corner.
Soon, I will be fifty years old.

That's not something I've chosen, and no choices that I've made have either sped up or slowed down the process.  Time, as I've often said, can be cruel... and no matter what, whether I like it or not, fifty is coming.

I read something cute the other day:  Don't see it as an age, see it as a level.  Instead of saying that I'm fifty years old, I can say that I've made it to Level 50.  I started at Level 0 right here in Tulsa, Oklahoma, and I made my way through some wonderful as well as some horrible circumstances, interacting with countless others and making my way through life... and, in just a matter of weeks, I'll be reaching Level 50.  That sounds a bit more badass.

I didn't think I'd ever make it to 40, let alone 50, so this is not something I'm weeping about.  It's an accomplishment of which I'm pretty damned proud.

 

Okay... that'll do for now.  More soon, hopefully.  Thank you, everyone, for your support.

Badger


[The badgerkelley.com site is still forthcoming.  The views and opinions expressed in my posts are mine and mine alone.  No posts on this site, nor any of my posts on social media, should be considered representative of any company for which I work, nor any company for which I've ever worked, nor any company which I own or have owned.  Also, since you're already here reading this:  Don't rent cars from Dollar or Thrifty.]

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